SEXUAL BOUNDARIES

When you first get together with a girl, it can be hard to figure out how 
soon is too soon when it comes to certain sexual antics. Introducing kink 
into a new relationship can cause trouble, so here are some common 
misdemeanors, including tips on how to stay in the clear while keeping the 
girl and the kink. Keep in mind that the best way to know if she is 
comfortable with something is to ask her; people who communicate openly have 
better sex, more often. It isn’t always that easy, though, and it does help 
if you can read the nonverbal signs she gives you, of which there will be 
plenty. 
Making her submissive
Being dominated is fantasy material for both sexes, but because the reality 
of this can often be far less appealing, it’s important to know if she feels 
comfortable with it. You can normally tell if she’s into it by her general 
sexual attitude, although this is not the only indicator, and it sometimes 
doesn’t apply at all. If she is a creative and interested lover, she will 
probably want to try it with you at some point. 
Red light: She may object to being restrained or made submissive, so test her 
by holding her arms gently but firmly above her head while you do nice things 
to her with your mouth. If she pushes against your grip and looks 
uncomfortable, stop. Look at her, watch her face, and you will see her 
reaction. Always let go if asked. 
Green light: You can safely assume that if she shows you how to tie a Shibaru 
knot, she is keen on being bound and "tortured" with a feather or your 
tongue.
Anal activities
You will probably know from the start of your sexual relationship whether she 
is into anal play or not. As far as anal sex goes, girls who love it love it, 
and will request it without any hesitation. Those who haven’t had good anal 
experiences will be much more shy, and these are the ones you have to watch 
carefully. It would be unreasonable to expect her to have anal sex in the 
first few weeks of a relationship when you are still building trust and a 
sexual understanding of one another, so save it for later. You definitely 
need to talk about this one because it requires a reasonable amount of 
reassurance that you will take a lot of care with it. Just remember: If you 
do this right, you will get repeat service with a smile. 
How to reveal your sexual obsessions
Red light: There is an easy test to see how butt-friendly she is, and it goes 
something like this: If you put your hand near her like you are going to put 
your finger in, she will either squirm away from you or she will let you do 
it. If she squirms, you need to talk about it (or do an extremely good job 
convincing her “nonverbally”). The same rule applies for licking her if you 
are in the vicinity, so feel free to wander further if her body language says 
it's OK. This works best if she is lying on her front so you have full access 
to her from behind. 
Green light: If she lets you or pushes you nearer, you can assume she likes 
it, so proceed with your play. 
Fetishes
If you happen to have a fetish, introducing it to your new girl is a big 
deal. You don’t know how she will react and you obviously don’t want to risk 
rejection of something that is such a big part of your sexuality. It would be 
wise to wait for a good few months until you can figure out what she might 
think. What your fetish is also plays a large part. If your carnal obsessions 
center on feet and she doesn’t mind them being adored, no problem. If, on the 
other hand, you have a sexual connection with citrus fruits, you may have a 
bit of explaining to do. 
Red light: Conversation will determine a lot in this situation. How she talks 
about fetishes will show her level of understanding of the subject, so if she 
makes fun of people who have them, she may not react well to yours. Under 
these circumstances, it is best to wait until you have a solid relationship 
before introducing your sexual kink. 
Green light: If she seems open-minded and you feel comfortable, talk to her 
when you feel the time is right. Treat this topic with respect, and hopefully 
she will too. 
Oral sex on her
This may seem odd, but many women still aren’t very familiar with men who 
love to go down on them. This can be for a variety of reasons, but having her 
intimate parts gazed at, smelled at close range and tasted can make her very 
uncomfortable. 
Red light: If she resists you going down on her by closing her legs, you 
should reconsider. She may have a very good reason for not wanting you to go 
there -- smells, tastes and so on -- and it might just be in your best 
interest! However, she may not be familiar with the sensual delights of 
cunnilingus, so she might need you to give her a warm, wet introduction. 
Normally, you will feel her stiffen up if she is uncomfortable, and she may 
jump to the next activity hoping you won’t try again. If you sense her 
discomfort, this aspect of your sex life may require discussion at a later 
stage, when you are not in an intimate situation. 
Green light: If you go down and she lets you, you have your green light. Eat 
your heart out, baby!

Period sex
What to do when it's her time of the month... 
When you first get together with a girl, she may not know how to broach the 
subject of her period. The big question in these situations is, “Do you have 
period sex?” She doesn’t know how comfortable you are with periods and 
“women’s business,” so this is a subject that you can feel free to talk about 
with her. You being comfortable with her period earns you many brownie 
points, so if you don’t know anything about them, start asking questions, 
listen and learn. You will find out some gems about the way she works. 
Some guys are not too happy about getting messy, and some women aren’t too 
keen on getting dirty whilst being on their period. Most, however, are fine 
with it as long as you are. Some women use sea sponges, which block blood 
flow, avoiding a mess and allowing freedom of penetration for up to six 
hours. 
Red light: Ask her, and if she says no, then don’t do it. No does not mean 
”no forever,” though; it just means “no for now” (unless, of course, she 
spells this out very clearly). So feel free to ask again later. Here is a 
handy tip for these sensitive situations: Women are often very easily aroused 
during their periods because high estrogen levels make them extra-sensitive, 
so if you get her hot enough, she won’t be able to resist! In saying that, 
there are countless reasons why she wouldn’t want to have period sex, such as 
smells, mess, obstacles, pain, and so on. Choose your timing carefully and it 
may turn into a green light (for instance, right after a shower). 
Green light: If she doesn’t mind and you don’t mind, go for it, but use your 
common sense with timing. Period sex is something that can happen right at 
the beginning of a relationship, though it does require an element of comfort 
with the bodily processes it involves. 
The best way to establish when the time is right for a 
certain sexual act is to communicate with your partner. This does not always 
mean talking about it (yes, it’s sometimes very hard to bring up some 
subjects), so using all your nonverbal cue cards will be necessary. 
Ultimately, she isn’t going to dump you because you thought it would be kinky 
to tie her up and make love to her. On the other hand, she may just dump you 
if you are boring, so don’t be too scared to try new things.